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Archive for February, 2021

Florida Man Friday: True Stories #34

Posted in Florida Man, Florida Man Friday, tagged , , , on February 26, 2021| Leave a Comment »

buttdial

Donna Knope, her son Jason Knope, and Thomas Stallings of Deltona were arrested for running a meth lab. They were busted when one of the three—it is unknown which—inadvertently butt-dialed 911 and police listened to them “talking about making and selling methamphetamine” for a half-an-hour. They also heard a “bubbling sound as if something was cooking.” It might be worth noting that the Knopes hadn’t been arrested prior nor since this incident, though Stallings had been on probation for a domestic battery arrest. Other career highlights include grand theft, burglary, and child injury/abuse. I’m going to go ahead and blame Stalling for the butt-dial.

The Smoking Gun. “Cops: Pocket-Dial T0 911 Sinks Florida Trio Operating Meth Lab in Backyard Shed.” The Smoking Gun. TSG Industries, Inc. October 6, 2014.

Read Florida Man: Battle of the Five Meth Labs: A Love Story here.

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Florida Man Friday: True Stories #33

Posted in Florida Man, Florida Man Friday, tagged , , , on February 19, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Dog Hair

Bay Harbor Island’s Ruth Regina—an eighth-generation wigmaker—makes hairpieces for dogs: “braids, curls, and extensions that can be dyed, highlighted, and styled to order. . .” Feature styles include the “Yappy Hour” (synthetic or human hair, curled and dyed any color, including pastels—a “good choice for hairless dogs”), the “Peek a Bow Wow” (Covers half the dog’s face for a Veronica Lake look—good for “any dog that has feeling, you know, a sexy dog”), the Rover R-r-r-rug” (straight hair for bangs), and “Buddy Braids” (self-described, for dogs with a little hair as they need to he attached with clips.)

Diaz, Madeline BarM-s. “Wigs & Wags.” Sun Sentinel. South Florida Sun Sentinel. August 9, 2006.

Read Florida Man: Battle of the Five Meth Labs: A Love Story here.

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Florida Man Friday: True Stories #32

Posted in Florida Man, Florida Man Friday, tagged , , , on February 12, 2021| Leave a Comment »

TeddyRoos

A man by the surname Roosevelt repeatedly attempted to eat breakfast at a Holiday Inn at which he was not staying. Upon being refused and asked to leave for a final time, the man threatened to hit the manager and have her fired, as he was the great-grandson of Theodore Roosevelt, owned the hotel, and the entire United States. This is a bold claim. He was issued a notice for trespassing.

Lurye, Rebecca. “Man Claiming to Be Teddy’s Roosevelt’s Relative Banned From Bluffton Hotel.” The Island Packet. Hilton Head Island Packet.

Read Florida Man: Battle of the Five Meth Labs: A Love Story here.

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Florida Man Friday: True Stories #31

Posted in Florida Man, Florida Man Friday, tagged , , , on February 5, 2021| Leave a Comment »

IHop

Matt Skytta walked into an International House of Pancakes around 1am, flashed an Orlando Police Department insignia patch in his wallet, and demanded to fed free food, as he was a police officer. When informed that that was, indeed, not IHOP policy, he said: “I’m not going anywhere until you feed me.” He then threatened the server, which escalated to much worse—he said, “Hey buddy!” then “exposed his buttocks.” When real police came to arrest him, he said: “I’m a Green Beret! If I die, Obama dies!” He then said he knew the Orlando Police Chief and said his “retired brothers” would help him out, which perhaps he, and they, did, as I can find no record of his arrest, despite facing charges of impersonating a police officer, trespassing, and disorderly conduct.

Koploswitz, Howard. “’Fake Cop’ Matt Skytta, Florida Man, Shows IHOP Server His Butt When Free Food Request Doesn’t Work: Police.” International Business Times. LBTimes LLC. January 3, 2014.

Read Florida Man: Battle of the Five Meth Labs: A Love Story here.

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